Some of my friends still call me the “The Queen of NO”.
Because I had a way of saying it so that there was no room for negotiation.
And when I said it, It was ice cold…I was harsh..
But it was because the pendulum swung from the opposite extreme.
I struggled to say no for such a long time.
I would say yes to every request from anyone I knew, all the time, just to avoid the guilt that I felt when I refused someone something.
“If I don't do that, then I’m not helping...and that means I'm not a good person...good people help others…’
I learnt this behavior growing up.
It put me in a lot of unwanted situations.
It made me feel a lot of resentment for the people that asked me.
It made me passive aggressive.
It drained my energy and took me away from the things I actually wanted to do
It made me complain about others behind their backs…
One little word was my downfall.
My lack of boundary setting affected every part of my life:
My career, my relationships, my sense of self.
I had to work super hard on finding a balance between the ice queen and the pushover.
I had to work to develop a better NO.
My life improved when I learnt how to set healthy boundaries. My self respect went up. I set higher standards and called in better experiences and interactions with others.
Boundary setting is one of the best forms of self care.
So that is where I'm starting with my first program. It's complimentary so if you are having some trouble with your NOs or boundaries, I'd like the chance to help you.
Reach out for the details